I want to thank Sean and Michael for their votes of confidence, and I don’t want to forget to thank all those cloaked and hooded conspirators in the shadow group who cast their secret ballots for me. (You have a subterranean lair, right?)

And if you want to know, yes, I did make the perceptual goof I referenced in my entry. Unfortunately — or maybe fortunately in this case — the “Best Fantasy” awards show quickly spiraled out of control in my head, so I decided to mesh out an alternative entry.

Now everybody better go post to today’s blog so we get our quorum.

So … I stopped typing my original entry for this contest.

And how could I not? The voice was a little too familiar for comfort; it was coming from inside my head.

And it was my voice.

“Uh … yes?” I asked.

“Did you stop?”

“Couldn’t you tell?”

“Never mind that. I just need you to stop. Right. Now. Because you’re about to make an embarrassing mistake.”

“How? What kind of mistake?”

“You misread the original post. Go back up to the top of the web page — don’t type another thing, and don’t you dare hit the “submit” button — and carefully reread the original post. Don’t skim it like you did last time.”

So I did, mumbling the entire post under my breath: “… use the comments below to post any fantasy-, science fiction-, or geek-related thought you might have on the topic ‘The Best…’”

At this point I realized my mistake, took timeout for a literal head-desk moment, then spoke the topic aloud: “‘The Best of the Year’.”

“Yeeeeeeessss — riiiiiiight — very, veeeerrry good,” my voice said, drawing out the most condescending tones possible. “And tell me what you thought the topic was.”

My voice waited patiently for me to answer as I let a reluctant pause build. Finally, I mumbled, “Best Fantasy.”

“What was that again? Say it louder.”

“I said, I thought the topic was ‘Best Fantasy.’”

“That’s right. You thought the topic of this contest was ‘Best Fantasy.’ And I know exactly how you arrived at this conclusion, because you’ve made similar sick, perverted mistakes before. You saw those book titles — Best American Fantasy, and Best New Romantic Fantasy 2 — and somehow your fluidly malfunctioning subconscious cut, pasted, and shuffled those titles into the middle of the post, replacing ‘The Best of the Year’ with ‘Best Fantasy’. Remember, these aren’t your regular friends, so they don’t care about your cascading perceptual blunders. And when you read the part of the post that said ‘Interpret this phrase however you see fit’, you just HAD to turn the whole thing into something tawdry. Right? Well? Didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah. That was kind of the point. I was playing off mainstream ideas of what a fantasy is, as opposed to the literary kind, while merging the two together.”

“Never mind that. Just admit that you screwed up. Right? Right?”

“Yes,” I admitted.

“Good. Now, what are you going to do about this? And keep in mind that ‘I’m going to hit the submit button’ is not an acceptable answer. So what are you going to do?”

“I’m…” I paused, knowing I was about to throw away a good chunk of writing. “I’m going to … stop writing this story.”

“That’s right. Very good. So just…”

“I’m going to stop writing the story about the guy who goes to sleep, then finds himself thrust, by supernatural means, into attendance at a fancy auditorium located in everybody’s interconnected dreamland…”

“Stop it.”

“…alongside several other confused looking people — all in formal dress — at what turns out to be the 2007 Best Fantasy Awards…”

“Oh god…”

“…where he finds out that he, as well as a few other surprised guests have been nominated in the dubious category of ‘Best Supporting Actor in a Wet Dream’ … ”

“You’re just trying to throw the story premise out there, aren’t you?”

“…and — to his horror — he looks across the table to see his equally surprised and horrified Mormon missionary companion, who’s been nominated for a few other higher profile awards in related categories.”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop?”

“Well, you have to admit, it’s kind of related to the ‘Best of the Year’ topic.”

“No it’s not.”

“Should I mention what the presenter looked like?”

“No!”

The dystopia is *here*, people. We’re up to our collective nipples in it.

The best thing about 2007 is that it’s over.
[/soapbox]

Best Fantasy Pairing, Blogging Department – Jay Lake and Elizabeth Bear. The yin and yang, live-blogging from the front lines of the genre mines, offering insights and nuance (and not a little bit of human distraction along the way). They offer both hope and guidance, tempered by a healthy dose of “Oh, damn, I’d better bring my A game to try and keep up with the likes of these folks.”

As far as I am concerned, Troy: The Fall of Kings was the best book of the year.

Regards, Jerry Seeger, my highest regards. One best of the year is when a fellow human being smacks you hard upside the head with a monkey-wrench of recognition using mere fantasy, and that you have done. The posting you wrote preceding mine inspired me to write the following, from which you all may pluck a number of bests:

Thirty seven years I have lived in anguish, but only because of fear and selfishness. Now, 2007, my girlfriend of two years wants to marry… me! the drifting bachelor… and there is talk of children. This past April we bought a house and not one month later a fantastic (but aren’t they all?) dog. Yes, we begain fumbling with the very concepts of bliss.

She is 26, 24 when we met, and when I decided to start dating her back then, I told myself that—if I was serious about this one—to get ready for her thirties. I knew her paths were just starting to crook. But start dating her I did, and my spirit roiled within me as I struggled to decide my fate with her.

As if I had any real control over it: this is one of the things I realized over the past year. And the year to come? We marry in summer. And then we will talk more of children. And we will do what we can to quell the dark roilings in our souls.

Do you see what we try to do? We are trying to live a fantasy, despite the dark forebodings all about. We will sacrifice one to the other and look for flashes of light. Thanks to your post, I know you, Mr Seeger, understand this, and knowing you understand is also a Best.

And another thing…

When I was a boy, I wrote fantasies; I consumed them; I loved them. Then there was a break of sorts, and there was a long time living in the madness of the world. This past year came another break; much of 2007 was the time for thinking, a year to breathe and walk in the desert. And I began to write again.

You see, my soul roiled not only from the uncertainties of love, but also from the disappointing reality that I had allowed my fortune—my ‘career’ (ha!) steered so brutally by my angst and anxieties—to founder on the rocks. Yet in this past year of thinking, something funny happened. I began to fantasize again. In fact, I didn’t hold back and I have come up with a way to quit my miserable job at the post office… YES… indeed, through writing fantasy. Hallelujah, my first book comes out next year. Fantasy has at last TRULY set me free.

So, Mr. Seeger, you and I and all the rest of us sit across the ether, having our fantasies. The best of the year is when you share yours with another, and the other shivers with a pleasure of recognition. We can take some of our pleasures in the black obverse of hope, but for me reading Seeger’s post has given one of the true gifts of fantasy: the thrill of seeing a stark crystal of your unassuming self laid bare on the screen. A contact to yourself given unknowingly by another.

The best of of the year is when fantasy helps you figure out and relish your life.

Sincerely,

Alan Croftsman

P.S.

Ok, ok, this is DARKfantasy.org after all. I can’t just finish waxing poetic about ME, ME, HAPPY ME! without marring the finish just a little. Ok, ok, so in 2007 I decided that in 2008 I would live my fantasy life, get married, be an author, blah blah blah… but don’t we all know how these things turn out? Don’t we all know the fantasy is nearly ALWAYS better than the reality? I mean, almost by definition. So, don’t get me wrong, I am hoping 2008 has some good times in it, but I am getting ready, in my heart of hearts, for a crappy year compared to this one. Yep! My soul still roils, people! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! ALL MY BEST TO YOU AND YOURS!