If the destruction were expected, there wouldn’t be businesses in those high-rises in the first place. Think about it: if a firm knew that there was a 50% chance that its building would be destroyed EVERY WEEK, they wouldn’t rent the premises unless they had sufficient insurance to a) pay for the reconstruction and b) pay for the inconvenience of relocating and the productivity lost. Insurance companies can’t offer this kind of insurance unless they’re backed by the state and the state would very quickly go bankrupt if they had to support Metropolis with Superman, Gotham City with Batman and so on. It’s just not a sustainable system.

Any city with superheroes causing wanton damage would swiftly depopulate because there would be no incentive for businesses to rent premises in them. If this situation continued for long enough (and presuming all superheroes live in the USA, which does seem to be the case) the entire economy of the country would have to change. Or the superheroes would have to stop destroying buildings. The cost would simply be too high.

In which case, perhaps superheroes could spend some time addressing real problems, like dictators and genocide.

Not that he has anybody care about the massive property damage. Just that he pushes it to the point of satire … and about five levels beyond.

It’s a well named little comic.

I realize the author here is suggesting we see superheroes’ property damage treated seriously rather than comedically, but… well. I’m skeptical. It would have to be done well, at any rate.

And her concern was not so much for the destruction of cities during battles to defeat bad guys, but for the Justice League turning into bad guys themselves. That’s a big difference. I don’t remember a circumstance of her getting angry because superman threw some guy through three buildings and destroyed a city’s low income housing.

The ONLY time the destruction of property was mentioned is in the episode where Luthor builds Lextown or whatever and goads Superman into destroying it. And again, the mention only happens when the real reason behind it is a villain. And that same villain is working with Waller, who also doesn’t seem to care too deeply about the town, just about making Superman look bad.

As the (unofficial) self-appointed Spec-Fic Community Outreach Representatives for both Obama and McCain, I would like to release the following (completely unauthorized) statements on behalf of the candidates:

McCain-ish:
I believe it is up to the individual states to determine how best to handle the issue of superhero destruction.

However, I would make a few suggestions to guide these states in their decisions.

First, and most importantly, accelerate the rebuilding of any Old Country Buffet restaurants destroyed in the fighting. I love buffets.

Second, I understand that corporations like Lexcorp have been accused of profiteering on the destruction, by building cheap substandard housing and offices and then taking out ridiculous insurance policies on them. More, it has been suggested that many super-villains take bribes to direct the superheroes’ destruction in the most profitable urban areas.

I have been assured by Lex Luthor himself that this is not true. In fact, I propose … er… what was I talking about? Oh, yes, I propose reducing the taxes on any profits made from such speculation, as well as the corporate tax rate in general, as that will inject additional capital back into the system that will trickle down into jobs for the common people, and ensure faster rebuilding times.

Third and finally, I support tax breaks on all purchases of Viagra. I know that may seem a bit off-topic, but seeing Superman in his blue outfit going strong at, what, 90-something (?), reminded me.

Fourth, and finally, do not rebuild urban public schools. Instead use that money to provide vouchers to the parents of the displaced students. This will allow them to send their child to a safe private school in the suburbs – well, assuming they can get in, and afford the remaining tuition. However, I feel we should be careful what schools we fund. Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, for example, apparently has an unusually strong focus on teaching and researching evolution.

Finally, on the topic of immigration, many of the most powerful (and therefore destructive) superheroes entered our great nation from other countries, dimensions, planets and galaxies illegally. I propose erecting a transdimensional wall around our entire nation. And we can offer those who are already here a path to citizenship, if they are willing to use their abilities to help us defeat evil in Iraq. Not that we need help there. As General Thaddeus Ross clearly stated, everything is going really, really great there. Really.

Finally, let me just say that if you vote for me, I will send everyone a birthday card with five dollars in it.

And finally, pull my finger. Go on. It’s funny. Okay, fine, but … look who’s got your nose!

Oh, yes, thank you, and God bless America. And by God, I mean the real God, not the mighty Thor, or any of those other fake gods you see in eastern Indian comics, of course. But Buddha is okay. And no, I’m not just saying that to make people forget how I said I hated “gooks” in my 2000 presidential bid. Really.

Oh, and Reagan. And terrorists. Don’t really have a point, but I forgot to fit those words in earlier.

Is it nap time now? What? Oh, how do you turn this microphone off? I usually have my grandkids help me with my electronics. You should see me try to set the time on my DVD player. I — ssskkkk…

Obama-ish:
Can we rebuild a brighter, better city after a superhero battle? Yes we can. Each superhero battle is not just an event of massive destruction, but one of opportunity, and hope.

I am reminded of little Billy Bradley, who asked me, “why didn’t my mother have health insurance when Superman caused a wall to collapse on her leg?” We must do more to ensure every citizen has the ability to seek medical aid after a superhero battle without fear of massive debt. That’s why I propose a voluntary universal health care system, as well as a superhero national volunteer program. For example, if Superman broke the woman’s leg, there is no reason he can’t use his x-ray vision to determine the damage, and save her the cost of hospital x-rays.

That’s point one.

Point two, we must address the rampant profiteering that drives this destruction. I support the efforts by Senate Democrats to levy a windfall tax on the insurance and construction companies, like Lexcorp, that have grossly profited from, and arguably increased, the destruction of people’s homes and offices. I also support increased accountability from building inspectors who sign off on these sub-standard and oddly explosive buildings.

Point three, we must ensure that the constant destruction of property does not destroy the lives of the middle-class men and women who work and live in these buildings. That’s why I propose rolling back the tax cuts on the corporations and the wealthiest 1 percent, like Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne, in order to provide additional tax relief and to extend unemployment benefits to the people who really deserve and need it, the hard working lower and middle class Americans, like my local press contact here, Peter Parker.

Point four, I intend to bring our troops home from Iraq as quickly as possible, so that our national guard can be available to help safeguard and rebuild our own cities during and after these superhero battles.

Point five, let’s take these opportunities to build more energy efficient buildings that utilize solar power, water and waste recycling technologies, and more. And for every gas-guzzling car tossed or blasted or ripped apart, let us replace it with a hybrid or electric car. In this way, we can take the jobs lost due to exporting labor to cheap countries like Dr. Doom’s Latveria, and to the destruction of workplaces and factories by superbattles, and replace them with “green” jobs that will put Americans back to work.

And finally, I just want to say that my favorite superhero of all time is Wonder Woman, who reminds me of my strong and beautiful wife. And no, I’m not just saying that to win over the Clinton women’s vote. Really.

Thank you, and God bless.