This piece originally appeared in Cerise magazine
When I was a kid, I made up stories for my siblings and the neighbourhood kids we could press-gang into participating by the hour. Let’s Pretend was by far and away my favourite game, second only to reading as my favourite activity. We hunted down dinosaurs, enthusiastically swung sticks at each other in pirate battles, saved ourselves from floods of molten lava by jumping on the bed and, in possibly my finest hour, prevented alien plague infection by eating most of my friend’s stash of M&Ms.
I do exactly the same thing now, only I call Let’s Pretend “writing”, and I supply my own M&Ms.
When I got to intermediate school, I started acting classes and playing theatresports, which are improvisation games. I learned how to create a character, improvise plot, and react to the input of other people to make up a complete, satisfying story on the spot. I don’t do that now so much, because people tend to mistake “impromptu improvised theatre” for “telling enormous lies”.
I loved fantasy and adventure and brave heroes and cunning spies and noble Halflings. I had developed all the necessary skills. And yet, I didn’t play my first game of Dungeons & Dragons until I was 23.
Because D&D was for boys.
Really, that was it. I’d heard of it, and it sounded fun, but I didn’t investigate any further, because everyone knew it was for boys. And while I was ornery from about, oh, birth, I really didn’t get into the habit of questioning my own assumptions about what was and wasn’t for anyone until I hit my late teens.
And by then I was aware that while D&D wasn’t just for boys, finding a group of players that knew that, and who might treat me as a serious (if newbie) player might be a lot more trouble than it was worth just to try out an interesting new hobby. If something like Robyn’s current all-female D&D group had been around at the time, I would have jumped at it. There might have been; if there was, I didn’t know.
Eventually, aged 23, I moved into a new flat with a confirmed geek (always good housemates), who had a D&D group who played most Sundays. I mentioned that I was interested. He encouraged me to ask the GM.
So I did.
“You really want to play?” the GM asked.
“Yeah! I’ve done other roleplaying games over IRC, but never D&D. Will that be a problem?”
“Uh, no,” he said, in good-natured bewilderment. “But… girls don’t play D&D!”
16-year-old me might have given in right there.
23-year-old me smiled, lifted her left eyebrow (also something 16-year-old me couldn’t do), and replied, “This one wants to.”
So I played, and of course I loved it, not least because I never had another “girls don’t” moment with a single member of that group.
But how many girls get put off there? How many girls never question that first assumption? How many young women are missing out on extraordinary adventures and the amazing architecture of imagination that D&D offers because of that generation-old perception that women are inherently uninterested?
I hate to think. I’m glad I’m no longer one of them.
Copyright © May 2008 by Karen Healey
1 • Clint Harris said:
August 5th, 2008 at 3:23 pm, permalink
More girls should play D&D. In the gaming experiences I have had, lemme be the first to say this, with some of these groups it’s like playing in a vacuum. Especially the awkward situations of guys who know nothing about women but insist on playing female characters.
And let me throw this one in too. Ladies, don’t be bullied into playing the cleric, unless you really want to. It’s a player class most people avoid like the plague. Why? Because at lower levels, clerics suck. They do nothing but drag fallen warriors out of the fray and “lay hands” upon them.
Just because you have a womb or possible maternal instincts, it shouldn’t be the accepted norm for getting stuck with a character who only cares about patching people together. Let alone the image of the tender touch of the group’s only girl bringing back their character with the “kiss of life.” That’s like eleven shades of Freud, right there.
Girls can kick ass just like boys. I’ve seen them kick more ass at times. And who cares if the boys don’t like it. Give ‘em hell!
2 • Mari said:
August 5th, 2008 at 6:38 pm, permalink
Clint –
I’ve just started playing 4th Edition, and I have to say, the cleric class has been greatly changed — healing has actually been reduced, and combat powers have been increased. (Don’t get me started on the atrocity that is now turning undead, which is worthy of a WHOLE OTHER COLUMN) So that old “we need a cleric along for healing” cliche changes a bit in this dynamic.
And although I’ve certainly played clerics for years, I’ve never felt particularly pressured into playing them for gender purposes — the cleric I’m playing in a 3.5 edition game is most certainly not the healing type (she’s obsessed with chaos and freedom and revolution). I’m the only woman in the 4th edition game (different gaming group), but the only real pressure I’ve faced, gaming wise, is the constant insistence that I need to buy new dice because some nights my D20 is clearly, in their words, “cursed.”
This isn’t to say that I haven’t felt gender pressure — back in college, I was uncomfortable with joining the main group of gamers there because I was the only woman. I’m over that feeling now.
3 • bookmole said:
August 6th, 2008 at 2:36 pm, permalink
Since when did girls not play D&D? Maybe I was lucky, but when I hooked up with Husband and his group of friends, male and female, weekend sessions of AD&D were the norm. I played an evil elf fighter/magic user who had sex with the leader of City State (now that was fun fun fun!); I played a cleric who was so good it made you want to kill her yourself, but she was seriously good at dealing with the Undead and she was the only cleric I knew who knew where the magic mushrooms were; I played a – oh hell, I played lots and lots and I loved every minute of it!
We taught our children, but the only one who really like it was Daughter, who went to Uni and found her own group there.
These days we play Talisman – it is just the two of us, and lets face it, a board game for two is a lot easier than getting a group of people together and doing all that Dungeon Mastering. But I still miss it.
And Whisper (that elf I was talking about). I really miss her.
4 • Bog97th said:
August 7th, 2008 at 5:57 am, permalink
Cheers!
Great to hear of the other sex playing D&D too. It’s like a rare sighting of some unknown creature.
I too have had some very interesting gaming groups where ladies are involved. I love to see the female take on situations. Many women are more likely to think things out first before they act.
Good Gaming!
DM of the 4th edition group on Myspace.
5 • Fantasy Magazine » “Ghetto Man” Roasts The Superfriends said:
August 7th, 2008 at 12:01 pm, permalink
[...] Video, Thursday, August 7th, 2008permalink, jump to commentsLast week, author Karen Healey (who plays D&D) posted a link to the video clip below. It’s from Legends of the Superheroes, a live-action [...]
6 • Clint Harris said:
August 7th, 2008 at 5:13 pm, permalink
Mari,
That sounds like a truly kickass character. A revolutionary cleric…Sweet! It’s good to hear about the 4.0 changes for clerics (except the turning undead part). One of these days I might have to dust off the dice and give it a try!
Bookmole’s comments made me think of one of my favorite characters. A tiefling thief by the name of “Walker” used in Forgotten Realms settings. Total smartass with a penchant for irritating the hell out of DM’s.
Another of my favorite gaming sessions was the Masque of the Red Death scenario, which allowed our characters to trade broadswords for Colt pistols and attempt to survive Lovecraftian horror scenarios. University Greenhouses filled with flesh-eating plants! And mystery galore. Lots of fun, even with modified 2nd Ed. rules.
7 • The Great Geek Manual » Link Round-Up: August 12, 2008 said:
August 14th, 2008 at 7:35 pm, permalink
[...] Girls Do Play D&D. Eat your heart out boys. [...]
8 • zeros said:
December 19th, 2008 at 3:13 pm, permalink
I’m a girl, and I love roleplaying! I’m the only woman in the gaming group and I played a cleric only lately, my favourite classes were always the fighting ones
I was never told that I couldn’t play or that “girls don’t play”: I was accepted since the first day and encouraged to play, to have fun and not to worry too much fot the things I didn’t know.
Luckily enough, my friends are openminded, even if with almost no experience about how a girl’s mind works…
9 • links and things « Enter the Octopus said:
August 28th, 2009 at 12:57 pm, permalink
[...] Girls do play D&D [...]