Comments on: Gamer+Girl: How to Get Your Girlfriend into Gaming

By: Robyn Fleming » “Quest for Adventure Games” at Fantasy

Robyn Fleming » “Quest for Adventure Games” at Fantasy — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 00:22:44 +0000

[...] Adventure Games,” is online now. My previous articles for the Gamer+Girl column are “How to Get Your Girlfriend into Gaming,” and “Boobs in the [...]

By: Christine

Christine — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 04:12:36 +0000

Haha, I came across this article because that picture there is of me. lol. It was taken at my grandmother’s house this summer after she got a brand new wii.
As for this article, my bf (who took the picture incidentally) is not into games…at all. But we managed to find some common ground with Trivial Pursuit.
Also, just like any hobby, you have to learn to respect the other person’s interests. If your bf/gf doesn’t like gaming, then try and find something they do like and see if you can find a middle ground.
If your gf doesn’t like gaming, see what their experience with gaming is. Perhaps she’s only been exposed to specific types of games. Maybe she’d prefer something more centered on strategy or physical activity. Encourage her to try new things, but don’t force it on her. Present it as a fun opportunity, not some sort of requirement she must meet.
A relationship is about give and take. This means that both of you must give up a little bit and take a bit of what the other is giving. Sometimes that means stepping away from the console for awhile, but make sure your bf/gf realizes that it is something that you enjoy. Make it known that it is something that will be involved. If they’ve got a problem with that, then…they’re probably not worth it.

By: Ron Knight

Ron Knight — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 14:15:15 +0000

Robyn, thank you for writing a very insightful article. While sharing a number of interests helps create a strong relationship, it’s not necessary (or even healthy) for partners to be 100% into the same exact things. And many times gamers forget this. They can also forget that a relationship is a two-way street. Exploring the areas of interest that your significant other has (that you might not have) can open up new possibilities…and gamers always want their significant to try out what they do, but many times the gamers forget to “return the favor” and explore the activities their non-gamer partner (and friends) do. And if your significant decides that gaming isn’t for them…that is ok, as long as both sides respect the other. Try and arrange things that while you game, they get to go do their favorite activity. Thus no one is prevented from doing what they like…just be sure to also arange together time to do the things you both like. If this is not possible between the partners…then perhaps it’s not the right relationship for either of them.

By: Cheryl Holland

Cheryl Holland — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 08:02:15 +0000

The shameless desperate flirting can be funny though. Geek guys used to do it in front of my boyfriend, who would stand back and watch the resulting snark with a big grin.

The gap is shrinking, but I think it will be a while before the male half of the community get over the novelty.

By: Robyn Fleming

Robyn Fleming — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:57:29 +0000

Cheryl – Fortunately, I think the gap is getting much smaller! But I’ve got lots of true hilarious stories about the “OMG a girl who games” experience, too. The best/worst being the time I introduced a new geeky female friend to my circle of geeky guy friends, and they all tried to seduce her at once – even the one who had been kissing me just a few weeks prior – and spent hours and hours telling me about how awesome it was to finally meet a girl with the same interests as them. Apparently, despite hanging out with me for years, none of them had ever actually met me before!

Clint – Yeah, I think “don’t be an elitist jerk” and “find common interests” are pretty excellent all-purpose rules.

By: Clint Harris

Clint Harris — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:23:31 +0000

Let’s not put the cart before the horse. The key to this isn’t so much “How to get your girlfriend into gaming” but rather “how do I get a girlfriend?”

RIMSHOT!

Seriously, the rules here apply for that too. Find a person with similar interests, don’t be an elitist jerk, etc. Don’t forget to roll D20 to Save against “Definitely Out of Your League.”

By: Cheryl Holland

Cheryl Holland — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 09:21:19 +0000

LOL. As a gamer girl myself, I’ve been there. The problem with No. 1 is that gamer girls are rarer than gamer boys, resulting in unseemly drooling from the boys when they realise that “OMG, she’s a girl and she *games*.”