POTTERPUNK – Inspiration: Seriously, you need to ask? Key Elements: Public school students wearing fake Private School uniforms; Round eyeglasses; Wands; Death Eater tattoos; the Kitchen Sink. Outcome: Got frustrated trying to make field-Quiditch fun in real life; Rift over whether Dumbledore was really REALLY dead; kept being mistaken for somebody actually getting a quality education; Somebody gave them a sock, and freed them to read adult fantasy.

AMBERPUNK – Inspiration: Chronicles of Amber. Key Elements: Flexible view of reality, and belief that can change reality by their will; Cards, art, and accessories based on Tarot decks; Get together to play find-the-path puzzles and other pattern-finding games; Mix-and-match clothing and tech from every era and culture. Outcome: Some became followers of The Secret. Some became Sudoku masters. The best became New Weird writers.

STEAMPUCK — Inspiration: Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream. Key Elements: Donkey-themed accessories (heads of Eyore dolls, etc.); Fairy wings; Forest cammo; Victorian-tech reimagining of classic pranks Outcome: Steam-powered “snake in a flask” proved impractical. Fake dog poo made of brass unconvincing. Disbanded in shame and self-loathing after Florida printing-press prank resulted in US President with head of an ass.

PANPUNK – Inspiration: Peter Pan. Key Elements: Pirate fashions; Native American fashions; Fairy fashions; Pajamas; Teddy bears; Fairy dust; Happy Thoughts. Outcome: Sorry. My mistake. That wasn’t a Panpunk trend, it was a rave. I hear it went well, though.