Welcome to Fantasy Friday everyone. It’s time to Blog for a Beer. (Click here for the rules.)
This has been a pretty intense week. Elections and politics and CNN beaming holograms into their studios… But there’s one bit of election news that you may have missed: Stephen Colbert won, then lost the US Presidency… in the Marvel universe. Ah well, he’ll always be the president of my heart, much as Al Gore has been for the past 8 years.
It seems Obama will be the President of the Marvel Universe’s America, too. Good luck with that, buddy. His real life counterpart only has to deal with a crumbling economy, an unpopular war, and strained relations with other countries. Marvel Obama has to deal with warring superpowered jerks in spandex. And Wolverine.
It got me thinking, though, how do you think Obama would have handled Marvel’s Civil War? Would he ever support the mutant registration act? Do you think Michelle and Storm will hit it off during White House state dinners? (They can talk about hair!) If he were president in the DC universe, who do you think he would prefer to deal with, Batman or Superman? Or Wonder Woman?
And most important of all: who would his arch nemesis be? (I want costume descriptions too, people.)
1 • Michael Gordon said:
November 7th, 2008 at 11:28 am, permalink
Wait. You mean Obama’s not fictional? Holy reality check, Batman! I thought I’d been watching a scripted election cooked up by Aaron Sorkin. The whole “idealistic minority man rises above adversity and inspires a country to move beyond race” was just so contrived. I mean, who would buy that?
Next you’re going to tell me that the Colbert Report is fake news…
What? Oh.
I think I need a moment…
2 • Randy Henderson said:
November 7th, 2008 at 7:39 pm, permalink
His favorite hero: Michelle Obama. Don’t tell me she isn’t a superhero.
Arch-Enemy: Lex Luthor, who replaces Karl Rove as the architect of a GOP resurgence.
But his most annoying enemy is Wailin Palin. After gargling with radioactive holy water to keep evil spirits from entering her body through her throat, her mildly annoying voice takes on a whole new level of nails-on-chalkboard power.
A small-town supervillain who exemplifies mediocrity and blissful ignorance, you would have expected her to be on par with Magpie in terms of being a lame wannabe supervillain with delusions of grandeur: http://www.the-iss.com/2007/07/the_11_lamest_supervillains_in.php
But for some reason, Lex Luthor brings her on board to be vice president of Lexcorp, granting her more public attention than she deserves because he needed the support of his board of directors, and she shares core beliefs with them. Misguided beliefs founded in myth and ideology and a desire to impose personal views on others, but beliefs nonetheless.
She wears a Folksiness Amplifier and blows a Sexism Horn, both of which deflect close scrutiny of her incredible lack of necessary knowledge or competence to be a world-class supervillain. None of the board members seem to realize that just because they’d love to have her over for a barbeque doesn’t mean she’d be a good potential leader of the free world’s biggest corporation. But the board of directors doesn’t care, because they really like her casual way of talking and her beauty queen charm.
Her costume is red, of course, with a miniskirt and high heels to show off her legs, and she wears a $3,000 eyemask to hide her identity, that all the Lexcorp wannabes then all run out and buy to be trendy.
She holds several press conferences in which she doesn’t take questions, but does announce that President Obama pals around with terrorists (he was a co-member of Justice League with Green Lantern, who went evil for a while), that President Obama wants to raise taxes on starving children and puppies, and that Obama’s dazzling smile is the cause of Global Warming.
Obama kicks her butt without breaking a sweat.
3 • Randy Henderson said:
November 7th, 2008 at 7:52 pm, permalink
I “transcribed” Obama’s acceptance speech as president of the comic Universes. I attempted to post it here, but it wouldn’t post for some reason. You can read it on my blog:
http://quantumage.livejournal.com/6431.html