Hey everyone, it’s Fantasy Friday, and that means it’s time to Blog for a Beer. (click here for the rules.)
(Somehow the Fantasy gremlins forgot to choose a winner from last week! ohnoes! An oversight we’ll correct today.)
Let’s talk about Star Wars for a little bit. Last week The Clone Wars opened to almost universally bad reviews from critics and some fans. But as it’s meant to be the lead-in for a TV show, we can expect more of the same every week (yay?).
I keep wondering why this movie (and show) is needed, considering the high quality of the Clone Wars mini series that Genndy Tartakovsky did for the Cartoon Network. Of course, those were short action pieces — reminiscent of Samurai Jack, a show I loved — and not a full-length series. Still, how much more can Lucas eke out of this period of Star Wars history, especially considering that we already know how it all ends?
What do you think, Fantasy readers — has The Clone Wars driven a stake into the already weak heart of the Star Wars franchise? Or is there still more life left? Should it be left alone for another 20 years? Maybe we’ll have all forgotten how bad The Phantom Menace was by then.
Or maybe not.
Being early to post, my chances of the beer money reach zero awfully quick, but Tempest has touched on a subject that has been dear to my heart for 30 years. Star Wars.
I’ll spare you my opinion of what I think of the abomination which was Eps 1-3. But I am sure it will seep into what I’ve come to think about the franchise. Which is this: Toy Commercial.
Remember when you were a kid, and the commercials would come on. My Little Pony, the stick figure guy who couldn’t quite make it up the hill until he had a bowl of Cheerios, the stupid owl that showed us that you could risk serious damage to your teeth, trying to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, and then, the Star Wars commercials. John Williams blasting in the background. Kids just like you and your friends packing the Millennium Falcon full of action figures, setting up boobie traps to thwart Darth Vader and his storm troopers in awesome playsets you too could build in your backyard. And we did. Only probably not with nearly the variety or quantity of stormtroopers (green army men can suffice). Or probably sets that were any more involved than an upturned dog dish, some ships made out of toilet paper rolls, tape, and paper plates (’cause who could really afford the Millennium Falcon anyway–probably your snotty rich friend, but he never let you play with it. The stingy bastard. I promised not to tape firecrackers to it. Well, didn’t I?!?)
Yes, the toys are cool. The action figures are cool. And the best part about them is when Lucasfilm lets you down, again, you and your friends…I mean, um, your kids, can make BETTER adventures than the mediocre ones you shelled out $6 a person to see in the theatres.
That’s why the Genndy Tartakofsky “Clone Wars” was so good. He had a genuine love of the characters. He gave those stories the plots and complexity they had been denied for two movies. I even liked Anakin in the Clone Wars cartoon.
Ep. 1, then II, then all hope was lost and III was just an obligation people felt they had to fulfill and convinced themselves it was any good at all. Mass hysteria, I tell you. But in anticipation for a better movie, fans made their own movies on Hi8 and Digital. I have watched a few of them on the internet. Production quality is low, but no different than the original trilogy back in the 70′s and 80′s. Photoshop in a lightsaber and you have done with your iBook what George Lucas’s cadre of SFX nerds did to made millions in 1977.
Some of these movies are inspired. They explore new characters and new characters. And oddly enough, these videos don’t dwell on the inbred universe George Lucas has given us. Out of an Imperial Navy of perhaps billions, somehow fans made movies about characters that were in no way related to the thirteen original characters. And they kept it interesting.
With the anticipation of the upcoming disappointments, I mean, er, movies, fans who made movies of their own could also await with baited breath the subpoena from the Skywalker Ranch, citing illegal infringement of copywritten characters. Proving once again that George Lucas and that snotty kid with the Falcon, and the X-Wing, and the Snowspeeder were in fact kindred spirits. Neither of them want you to play with their toys. Unless you pay them first.
Somehow, Tartakovsky got to play with those characters, offering his funky style of Samurai Jack animation, inspired by the best manga and Kurosawa had to offer. Why not? Lucas admits to having ripped off Kurosawa’s “Hidden Fortress,” “Seven Samurai,” and Buck Roger’s serials from the 1950′s. Blatantly ripped them off, and then attributed his vision to Joseph Campbell and Karl Jung. Why? To sound authoritative, rather than simply fannish.
So, I haven’t seen the Clown Wars movie. I’ll wait for the DVD. Maybe see it on cable. It’s another toy commercial, pure and simple. Better yet, maybe I’ll load up on toys and make my own movie in stop-motion animation. My six year old can write the script. My five year old can provide the special effects.
And when that subpoena comes, I can proclaim I was inspired by Joseph Campbell, Akira Kurosawa, and Mrs. Butterworth, for all I care. Because, sure, it’s one thing to own the copyright on something, and enforce it was extreme prejudice (pun intended). But there comes a point when snotty rich kids might have the shiniest, bitchin’est car on the block, but when they make a point of beating it down with a crowbar every morning, those of us that worked all summer to buy a hoopty start to get pissed.
So, don’t be surprised when one day, someone takes that ’68 Mustang out of the driveway and turns it back into a badass car. Extended metaphor aside, George shouldn’t get bent out of shape when fans step up and infuse his tired old, inbred universe with the sense of wonder they remember from their childhood. Genndy Tartakovsky did it. Thousands of fans have done it too. And I have a feeling it will continue, no matter what damage Lucas intends to throw at his “own” creation.
McCartney today is no Beatles.
Bowie today is no Ziggy Stardust.
Woody Allen today is no Annie Hall.
Eddie Murphy today is no Delirious.
George Lucas today is no Star Wars Episode IV.
Creative artists often lose their muse, and their edge, post-success and as they grow older.
Although Rocky regained his Eye of the Tiger several times (as a character, not in terms of film quality), I don’t see it happening for Lucas.
I mean, Lucas today even managed to screw up the work of Lucas of yesteryear. Greedo shot first? WTF?!
Every Star Wars product that has been great since the original trilogy has been one not written or directed by Lucas.
The Knights of the Old Republic video games are among my favorite. They take place thousands of years before trilogy, when the Sith were all over the place. Those games have awesome storylines.
Perhaps my favorite Star Wars “film” since the original trilogy is “Troops,” an independently made COPS parody. The special effects are awesome, the script is hilarious, and far more clever than anything Lucas has churned out. You can even read some racial discrimination commentary into it if so inclined, the way they treat the Jawas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO6rqAJ3mGc
But Lucas won’t step away or stop the insanity as long as A.) there’s money to be made, and B.) people keep interviewing him with goo-goo fan eyes and treating him like a god.
And when you really get right down to it, the character names and dialogue were pretty bad and the plot highly derivative even in the original trilogy. Not that we cared, because it certainly beat everything else that was being put onto film at the time. So Lucas should get credit for getting the films made. But he needs to face the reality that the less he gets involved in a Star Wars product, the better it is going to be.
Prepare for fandom blasphemy…
I just got around to seeing the original Star Wars films about a year ago. And frankly, I wasn’t all that impressed. And NO it was not because of the effects, I think they did brilliant things with the tools they had available. But frankly I think the other than Alec Guiness, James Earl Jones, and Harrison Ford, the acting and dialogue were terrible, and even they had plenty of dud lines.
So I wasn’t nearly as distressed by Episodes I-III as most people I know, because I had no fond nostalgia for the whole thing. I did think Episode III took bad to a whole new level of course, and, given maybe a week or two, a untrained monkey could have churned out a better script. I mean, come on, “My wife is going to die, the creepy old man tells me the only way to save her is to kill little kids, oh and he doesn’t do anything to prove he can actually save her. I guess I’ll go kill little kids.”
Here’s one possibility for how it could have played out:
1-Padme is kidnapped
2-Palpatine tips Anakin off where she’s being held
3-Anakin slaughters the kidnappers, but doesn’t get Padme
4-Palpatine spins the whole thing to look like Anakin was the aggressor
5-Jedi go after Anakin, who fights and kills some of them trying to escape to rescue Padme
6-Jedi keep coming after him and he keeps killing them in self-defense until he comes to believe they are his enemies
7-Kills kids for s**ts and giggles
THE END
This isn’t to say that there wasn’t tremendous value in those original movies. They captured the audiences imaginations for decades to come and created a fusion of SF and Fantasy that endures to this day.
Just wanted to clarify.
Yeah, Michael, talk about a wasted opportunity. You’ve got impetuous Anakin being beguiled by possibly the most evil person in the known universe. Why couldn’t the Emperor just put the Jedi whammy on Anakin and compel him to kill everyone around him. Compel him to go to the dark side? Who says free will has to be involved? Hercules went nuts and killed his loved ones. It’s not like anyone would be betraying mythological conventions by doing this.
And maybe, like a smack addict, Anakin likes the power. He likes being the bad guy and doesn’t want to come back.
Way to go, George. Loser.
Clint – “Clown Wars?” You’re killing me!
Good stuff. Liked the analogy to a spoiled kid who wouldn’t let you play with his Star Wars toys too. Although I seem to remember a rumor that the folks who did “Troops” were offered jobs at ILM. It probably has to do with whether you are trying to make a buck off of it or not. Because, you know, Lucas is hurting for cash. And even though he admits, as you point out, to ripping off past artists, how dare anyone rip him off, eh?
Michael – no doubt. Although I think you are a little bit off in your assessment, because I heard a rumor that an untrained monkey DID create the script. He was on loan from Michael Jackson. Perhaps a thousand trained monkeys with typewriters would have been better?
Bottom line, I just don’t think Lucas has the miticlorians for the job. Especially since he allowed a monkey to inject something as stupid and demystifying as miticlorians or annoying as Jar Jar Binks into the mythology.
Speaking of miticlorians, what’s up with that? Do you think that explaining the force biologically was his way of trying to appease all those who said Star Wars was more fantasy than real science fiction?
And another annoying thing that defied explanation was the horrible mock-Asian accents of the trade federation. How the hell did that get past ANYONE’S decency alarm?
And … ah, never mind. If we were to list all of the awful things about the second trilogy, this blog would rival the library of congress in size.
“And another annoying thing that defied explanation was the horrible mock-Asian accents of the trade federation. How the hell did that get past ANYONE’S decency alarm?”
Same way people try to poof away the skeezy feeling with Jar Jar and the Gungans–by saying “you’re reading too much into it” among a litany of diversion tactics.
Probably for the reasons I mentioned above, the miticlorians didn’t bother me so much at first, until I realized they are similar to the magic system I use in much of my writing, so by association I felt like an idiot.
I do think it would have been better without a “scientific” explanation, because blurring the lines of fantasy and SF is not nearly as fun as throwing the two together and letting them fight it out.
By the way, I know Obi Wan and Anakin have the whole power-struggle thing going on, but is it just me, or does the poster for Clone Wars look like they are comparing … saber sizes?
Juan – no doubt. That, and there tends to be a resistance to questioning anything that makes a lot of people a lot of money. They were seeing “In Lucas we Trust” on their dollars, no doubt.
“By the way, I know Obi Wan and Anakin have the whole power-struggle thing going on, but is it just me, or does the poster for Clone Wars look like they are comparing … saber sizes?”
And thus I am reminded of the movies Spaceballs and Shin Chan’s Star Wars spoof. But it is osmetimes hard not to see that sorta metaphor in a lightsaber and how throughout much of both trilogies you see mainly males waving them about. I think the Clone Wars miniseries and movie is where I can recall seeing any woman using a lightsaber in more than one scene and for more than like two minutes.
Tempest – in terms of what period the series should have covered – yeah, I agree, the second trilogy sucked as it was, we don’t need to see the suckiness in between the suckiness we’ve already been exposed to.
The period between the two trilogies would have been better. The period after both trilogies would have been better still. The period of the founding of the Jedi order and the Sith Wars would have been besterest of all.
But even better than all of that would be to set it during the period between the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings. Or during the period when the first Matrix was attempted but failed due people rejecting its perfection. Oh, wait, those were different, far superior trilogies. My bad. I forgot — why do we need Star Wars again?
Randy, because Star Wars showed that SF could be done well if you threw enough money at it. Alec Guinness himself said he hated the movies because of the banality of his lines. Yes, he used the word banal.
Lucas probably heard him say “banal” and thought to himself, “I don’t know what he’s talking about. I’ve never made a pornographic film…”
If you could build a time machine and drop off a cannister of Lord of the Rings film at a movie theatre in 1977, you could surf on the ripple effect of the resulting time-quake.
I’m just saying, what were SF movies before Star Wars? That’s right, people slowly walking around in space to classical music, and an old red light bulb singing “Daisy Bell” as someone turns off the electricity.
Clint – I agree the original trilogy helped mainstream SF and Fantasy and opened the door for future films. As I said above, “Not that we cared [about the crappy dialogue, etc.], because it certainly beat everything else that was being put onto film at the time. So Lucas should get credit for getting the films made.”
But then, so did War of the Worlds, so did The Day the Earth Stood Still. Not to say they were as groundbreaking, as iconic, or as deeply embedded in the popular culture as Star Wars. But the creators of those films didn’t go around acting like their shite don’t stink and meanwhile create a whole bunch of stinky shite sequels and spinoffs for decades to come. Just sayin.
George, old boy, it’s time to move on. Maybe do a Willow sequel or something. Or now that you’ve got the ball rolling, pass the reigns officially over to people who have actual creative talent and vision. Because at this point, the real phantom menace is your ego.
War of the Worlds was teh awesome. I dug on the Time Machine too. I agree about the stinky shite sequels too. My biggest regret was that the prequels were supposed to be about the Clone Wars, this nebulous thing spoken of with forboding when Princess Leia mentioned it in SW. The thought of it used to fire my imagination. Three prequels and now a feature length cartoon, and we still don’t see the Clone Wars.
The ten minutes of Battle Scenes in Ep. III was about the closest we got. Intense and well-done, but it was sandwiched between a real turd of a movie. Tartakovsky actually showed what a lot of that war was about. Big stompy secret weapons, gangs of blood thirsty speeder riding cyborgs, Mace Windu being the ass-kicking wonder we all knew him to be when we sent in for our free Samuel L. Jackson figure.
So yeah, totally agree. But don’t tempt him with Willow anymore. He “wrote” two crappy sequels with X-Men’s Chris Claremont. He’s still got enough money to make those into movies, and that threat is a distinct possibility as long as Warwick Davis is at large. Someone needs to put Mr. Davis into protective custody until this Lucas sequel B.S. blows over.
I just finished watching “Troops.” I would seriously watch a series on TV that was just like that. I love how everything tied so well into the movies too.
They should make a Sopranos-style show with Jabba the Hutt. Maybe “Fett the Bounty Hunter” could be done as a reality show with Boba, his dad Jango, and their Mandalorian-trash extended family, tracking down fugitives throughout the galaxy. “I AM THE FETT! FETT THE BOUNTY HUNTERRRRR!” Maybe Corellian Choppers, where Han works with his a-hole dad, his semi-retarded brother Dengar, and Chewbacca in a ship-customizing shop.
Clint – “He’s still got enough money to make those into movies, and that threat is a distinct possibility as long as Warwick Davis is at large. Someone needs to put Mr. Davis into protective custody until this Lucas sequel B.S. blows over.”
ROFL
Example of ego (or is it self-delusion?): Releasing a crappy tv pilot as a cinematic event in theatres worldwide.
Example of greed: Releasing a crappy tv pilot as a cinematic event, and following that up with a crappy tv series, all so that you can sell a bunch of crappy toys and product tie-ins.
But seriously, the best Star Wars sequel EVER?
The Star Wars Holiday Special:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asnVcbWQ2cg
SEE: The incredible fight scene between Han and the Stormtrooper on the platform!
HEAR: Princess Leia sing!
NOTICE: How the only person of color is a virtual prostitute!
FEEL: The sexual tension between Chewie’s mom and Han Solo!
Yes, it was truly an amazing show, and a warning sign of the Star Wars products to come.
These are not the sequels you are looking for …
I had to stop it three times, just to throw up. How could ANYONE sit through two hours? I call WMD.
Blah. Star Wars has sucked for years and years. But they will continue to churn out special editions and toys and stuff to sell. It’s not like Lucas had made anything of merit besides Star Wars. It’s a one hit wonder being replayed on an on.
Most directors and writers, commercial or not (hey take Spielberg or Cameron) branch out into new projects. Not Lucas. The only thing he’s got to shell is Star Wars. And yeah, it was really cool when it came out but by now I’m tired of the regurgitations of the same old stuff.
I feel like I’m trapped in the Monthy Pytton’s spam sketch but instead of “spam” he’s selling “Star Wars.”
Curse you Silvia. Now look what you put in my head –
OOooooo ….
We’re knights of the Jedi Order
We prefer your son to your daurter
We have saber duels
With our phallic tools
And protect the Republic’s borders
Then we like to drunken dance a lot with no robes and eat space spam a lot.
Perhaps that second line should be “We recruit your sons not daurters”. The way it is sounds a bit … Catholic. Well, it was off the top of my head, you can’t expect Shakespeare
PS – on a related theme though, it occurs to me that women in the Star Wars verse seem mostly good fer breedin. Anakin’s mom – she has no potential to be a Jedi, yet the miticlorians in her impregnated her to create Anakin?
Amadala is portrayed as a strong and independent woman, yet ultimately her big role in the saga is to be a pawn of Palpatine’s, and to mother Luke and Leia?
And then Luke has incredible power and is trained as the Jedi, but Leia’s force potential is ignored? I guarantee you though, she’ll be expected to help “pump out” the next generation of the Jedi Council…
Just sayin.
To clarify, they seem to seem that way to the Jedi Order.
As a side note to the Star Wars female thing, Lucas may be a bigoted pile of shit but you can thank Timothy Zahn for proving women with force kick ass. Though why Mara Jade marries Luke is beyond me…
Time to pick a winner! And just to point out early commenting doesn’t necessarily mean one won’t win, you just have to have the best comment evar! And then you win
Clint came close this week, for his wrath was righteous and beautiful. But Randy definitely won the thread with this comment @ 14:
“the second trilogy sucked as it was, we don’t need to see the suckiness in between the suckiness we’ve already been exposed to.”
I LOLed, so Randy gets the prize! Thanks for participating everyone
Thank you Tempest, and everyone who participated. I’ll save the ten bucks in my wallet and by any one of you a beer if we bump into each other at a convention. This is a great group to converse with, beer money or not.
er, buy.
In the immortal words of Agent 86, Maxwell Smart, “Missed it by that much.”
Thanks Tempest, and thanks to all who posted and read, and put up with our shenanigans. Congrats Randy!
I believe I’ll quote Tempest on my cover letters “his wrath was righteous and beautiful.” Can’t beat reviews like that.
Wow, I just wrote about the new “Star Wars” movie on my blog!
Well, I guess I’m a little biased because “Star Wars” played such a huge role in my late teens, and I’m also one of many people who actually made Star Wars fan films with my friends, lol.
I personally really like the prequels, although I understand the complaints that others may have about them. To me, it’s all one epic story, and regardless of what others have said, I don’t see Lucas as the greedy “mogul” that people accuse him of. He once said, “Filmmakers are teachers. Teachers with very loud voices.” Has anyone seen “THX 1138″? The film flopped when it first came out, but it is a very underrated film. The Orwellian influences are obvious, but it says a lot about our society.
Similarly, the “Star Wars” saga says a lot about humanity. The light side versus the dark side is a struggle that all human beings experience. Whether its with Love, jealousy, hatred, greed, lust, power — the internal conflict of Anakin Skywalker represents what happens to an individual when he/she surrenders to his/her ego. The death of Padme was completely out of control, but Anakin wanted to be in control. Can we blame him? No, but because he was weak, it made him very vulnerable to the Dark Side of the Force. If you are in Love with someone and that person leaves you, it is completely out of control. You can’t control whether a person has feelings for you or not, and you cannot control whether a person will live or die. These are harsh realities that we must learn to accept and come at peace with.
Luke overcomes the Dark Side in Episode 6 — he succeeds where his father failed. Anyway, that’s what “Star Wars” is REALLY about, and because of this, I can forgive Lucas for all the merchandising, the toys, the numerous re-releases on VHS and then DVD (and then probably an IMAX re-release for all the prequels, lol, who knows). The Expanded Universe — the novels, the video games, the comic books, the television shows, and the computer-animated film — are simply adding to the sage of “Star Wars” and filling in the gaps.
In Episode 2 and 3, we see Anakin and Obi-Wan talking about other missions and adventures they had, and fans can’t help but wonder more about those stories. This shows us that Lucas plans ahead and has a much larger vision of the “Star Wars” universe. The television series, as well as this new computer-animated film, gives Lucas the opportunity to explore those adventures. As I wrote on my blog, we NEED to see more of Anakin as a Jedi because the Sage is ultimately about his tragedy and redemption. Without showing more of Anakin’s prime, the Saga cannot be complete.
In the end, we can accuse Lucas of whatever we want. We can complain about the prequels and the animated series, and there isn’t anything wrong with that because everyone is entitled to their opinion. But I’m sure we all agree that with all the planets, the creatures, the vehicles, and the memorable characters, Lucas has an incredibly gifted imagination. Unlike other great epic films, which are based on novels, “Star Wars” began on FILM, and it has changed the motion picture industry in such a way that the industry would have been significantly different if it never existed at all.
Visit my blog if you want to read more of my thoughts on the film!