From Modern Mythcraft to Magical Surrealism

Blog for a Bindlestiff

We’re always surprised by the depth and imagination of the Blog for a… comments. Last week’s discussion of fantasy professions included dragon detailing, Medusa’s hairdresser, and a discursion on Orc lingerie in which we discovered that goblins go commando, at least according to Jim Hines.

But in the end, it was a fantasy profession that someone didn’t want that won our prize, in Randy Henderson’s description of the difficulties of being an innkeeper in a heroic fantasy novel:

Someone’s always coming into my place, lurking in shadowy corners, and starting fights with heroic patrons. Do you know how many table’s I’ve had to replace after the hero kicks it up into their oncoming foes? Do you know how hard it is to get blood out of wood flooring? And forget about having any breakable mugs in the place. They last about a week, tops.

And if the heroic types don’t get into a fight in the common room, sure as shite someone’s going to try and attack them in their rooms in the middle of the night, leaving broken doors and slashed up bedding.

And hey, goosedown pillows ain’t cheap. If you want to create a fake body shape in your bed as a decoy for the bad guys to hack all up, use your frikin travel clothes or something, okay? Leave my bedding out of it.

Mail us to claim your fabulous prize, Randy, and we hope you’ll use it to tip the next innkeeper whose goosedown pillows you destroy!

This week, Sethily, the heroine of Camille Alexa’s Shades of White and Road, goes travelling, along with various faithful companions, which led us to wonder about the topic of fantasy and travel. Has anyone ever written the equivalent of Kerouac’s On the Road for the fantasy genre? What fantastic journeys would you like to take – and which would you avoid at all costs? What would you pack to take along?

As always, the most entertaining comment will win a fabulous $10. Start commenting!

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