the day i realized you weren’t just for me anymore

but you were now for someone else too

i found dry sweat in every sheet and skin crease

i died with the daylight

dreamt wild

reincarnated myself

 

it was all building/rising/threatening

a memorial of the moment when the sadness turned to anger

 

my taste buds pure

lips moist and patient

searching

for specs of sugar left behind

from the woman i had been when you combed my scalp with grease

and the sun was spilling over

my wrists like blood on the 29th day

 

the tasting

started in the front of my mouth

my pallet diluted it

as it drifted back

into my esophagus

desperate for crumbs to take with me

into tomorrow.

 

this time cellos played/i gasped

my silk dress streamed rivers/lakes/ocean currents

i caressed/licked and/attended to

grandma was there crying